It seems like there is an unending morass written online
about the relations between the sexes.
Every ink drop spilled is an attempt by one or another of us to figure
out our significant other or figure out why we don’t have a significant
other. One thing I have learned in the
last few years: men and women are way different. Like incomprehensibly different. It is an issue my girlfriend and I have dealt
with, as have all couples, and continue to (though thankfully she does not read
this blog). Our modern age with its
fluid understanding of gender roles (insofar as it even acknowledges the gender
divide) makes coming to grips with male and female differences more difficult
than ever.
Men want a woman who is independent and smart, and indeed
this is what society demands of women it seems.
But we also want a woman who needs us.
What do women need us for though?
They are more educated, rich, and successful than men in many
categories. They get emotional support
from other women. Due to modern
technology they do not even need us for reproduction. The society that modern feminism has created
has effectively written men out of the picture.
The image of the single mother supporting herself and her kids has
become normal, accepted, and even glorified in some circles.
This has left modern man searching for himself- where do I
fit into the gender equation? I was told
this weekend that a woman can see “being in a relationship” with another woman
in every way except sex. Does this
reduce men to vibrators with legs? Do
women really value their relationships with men differently or more than their
friendships with women? I know I want to
be more than that. I want to matter.
I want to know that there is something special I add to her life that no
one else could, that my presence adds value and meaning. And that this contribution is more than just
a fun night after drinks.
I recently read an article in America magazine about the hookup culture at American college
campuses. At the heart of it is the
growing divide between sex and love. It
is an attitude that has become pandemic in America and probably the western
world generally. More men are watching
pornography than ever. Whether this is a
cause or a result is a debate for another article but in either case it is
illustrative of both this divide and the fact that men and women are having
less meaningful relationships and hence less meaningful sex, though this is
hardly a modern innovation.
I know I have asked many questions and provided few answers,
this might hopefully engender some comments and certainly is one more step
towards coming to grips with these questions.
Also hun, if you happen to be
reading this- I love you (and I’m glad you read my blog) :-p
